Royal Babylon (2012)

In 2012, the collective at Handsome Dog Productions crafted a thought-provoking video polemic based on Heathcote Williams’ investigative poem, aptly titled Royal Babylon: The Criminal Record of the British Monarchy. This unconventional documentary series delves into the darker side of the British royal family, chronicling their transgressions and misdeeds across generations.

The series comprises sixteen short films, each meticulously dissecting a specific aspect of the monarchy’s controversial history. Let’s explore some of the intriguing episodes:

1. RB Intro: The curtain rises with an introduction to the overarching theme—a searing examination of the royal family’s criminal past.
2. Killing an Ibis: A peculiar crime unfolds, involving the senseless killing of an ibis. What secrets lie beneath this avian tragedy?
3. Mad Monarchs: The erratic behavior of certain monarchs is laid bare, revealing madness, excess, and questionable decisions.
4. Michael X: The enigmatic figure of Michael X, a radical activist and associate of the royals, takes center stage.
5. Harry Trouble: Prince Harry’s escapades and controversies come under scrutiny.
6. I Danced with a Man: A scandalous dance, a forbidden liaison—what transpired behind palace walls?
7. Foot in Mouth: Instances where royals’ ill-considered remarks caused public uproar.
8. Folk on the Hill: The commoners’ perspective—how the monarchy’s actions impacted everyday people.
9. Knight Hoods: The conferral of knighthoods and the murky motivations behind these honors.
10. Milton Gas: A mysterious case involving gas—what secrets does it hold?
11. Swift Justice: The swiftness (or lack thereof) in addressing royal missteps.
12. Raj Doubt: The colonial era and the monarchy’s role in India—a tale of doubt and intrigue.
13. Gaunt etc.: The Gaunt family’s legacy—a saga of power, ambition, and betrayal.
14. Koh i Noor: The infamous diamond and its contested ownership.
15. Paine and Thoth: Revolutionary ideas and ancient wisdom intersect.
16. Blake Acres Zappa, Glitter Freeze: A cryptic title concealing revelations about the monarchy’s artistic connections.

Heathcote Williams’ incisive poem serves as the backbone, weaving together these disparate threads into a compelling narrative. The series unflinchingly confronts the crimes, scandals, and hidden agendas that have shaped the British monarchy. From the Tower of London to Buckingham Palace, no stone remains unturned.

Despite its modest budget of £3,000, Royal Babylon emerges as a powerful indictment of the institution that has fascinated and perplexed the world for centuries. It invites viewers to question the veneer of royalty and peer beyond the gilded façade.

Whether you’re a history enthusiast, a skeptic, or simply curious, this documentary series offers a fresh perspective—one that challenges the romanticized narratives and reveals the raw truth behind the crown.